I thought it was really witty that the writer had Juliet comment that “It’s not like this has been the greatest love story in history” because that is exactly what critics call the play. I thought it was also interesting how she had Juliet realize that men sometimes say things that women want to hear and can manipulate them. The idea of Romeo manipulating Juliet would not be in the play because it contradicts the dramatic love story Shakespeare is trying to convey. She states that he bewitched her enough to think that there was nothing wrong with their relationship other then their names, which was a tool to prey on her innocents. I really enjoyed the last stanza when Juliet notices Romeo has died for her and how he killing himself romanced her. It reminds me of how young girls want their lives to play out like a Disney film, only to realize that that is not how love really is. In Juliet’s case, she becomes apart of an epic romance so she plays into the idea of playing the part of “star-crossed lovers”. This shows her naïve view on love and even though she was growing up as the poem goes on, because she is questioning leaving Romeo just to fall in love with a romantic ideology, she ends up being a victim of “the greatest love story in history”.

I did not like how the writer made it seem that Juliet was happy at the beginning of the play. In my opinion, I always saw Juliet as being a very sheltered child who only knew the love of her nurse. Also, Juliet shouldn’t be so happy with her life because she was already promised to Paris. A woman in Juliet’s case would have no say in her life and how it was run so in a way I think Romeo, though he may have been too good to be true, served as a rebellion. This would have added an interesting turn in the story and also give Juliet even more depth.

            The car radio is on channel 880 AM and the week’s highlights are being played. It’s finally Friday and I can’t wait to just get home and have a nice Blue Moon. That is what I always look forward to at the end of a long week… and believe me it has been a long week.

The highlights are droning on and on over the speakers when suddenly a new voice cuts in, rudely interrupting a story about a New York City apartment building that was on fire.

“We’re sorry for the interruption but there are major delays on I-95 and the George Washington Bridge. The Bridge will be shut down due to difficulties on the south end. Paramedics and police have been called to the scene.”

“What the hell is going on…?”

The person in the car in front of me gets out and walks to the side rail. I see the person behind me do the same. I guess if we’re stuck here I might as well call Jessica and stretch my legs. I reach in the consul and fumble for my phone, an out dated version from the early 2000’s. My kids always make fun of me and call it “the brick” but hey it’s done its job well. What do I need some fancy phone anyhow? I dial the numbers and bring the phone to my ear.

“Hey Jess, you might want to put dinner in the over or order the girls take out. They shut the bridge down and I’m in the middle of it. Who knows when I will be able to move again, we are in full bumper to bumper mode.”

“Ahhh okay Jim. Thanks for calling and letting me know. I’ll order a pizza then.”

“Hey Jess? Mind checking the TV news highlights and see what’s going on? Maybe I can get an idea of what time I’ll be home.”

“Sure sweetheart.”

The phone goes silent and I hear the channels getting changed in the background finally I hear a constant murmur as I wait for Jessica to get back on the phone.

“Oh God Jim there is a jumper! By the end of the bridge! They are trying to talk him down now!”

In all my years of doing the same drive back and forth, I have yet to see a jumper. Of course I’ve heard stories but never have I actually witnessed anything.

“Ok Jess. Don’t worry everything will turn out ok and I’ll be home soon.”

“Ok Jim, keep me updated!”

I click the phone down as I notice more and more people slowly getting out of their cars to stretch their legs. Maybe some of them know what’s going on.

I turn off the engine and unbuckle the seatbelt. Do I really want to see this? I open the car door with a click and slowly stand up. The sun is just setting over the water and the sky it orange and pink. The water looks almost black under it. Its about 75 degrees outside and a warm breeze ruffles my hair as I slowly walk to the edge or the bridge. Who would ever find sorrow in a day like today? Uneasily I buck up the courage and peer over to my right. I see police lights flashing and a group of cars blocking the exit of the bridge and then I see him. He is on the other side of the railing that I am leaning over, feet planted on the edge, his arms stretched behind him gripping the railing. He is in a full cooperate suit, black with a white shirt with a black tie. His chin is resting on his chest as I see it unsteadily go up and down. He is sobbing.

There are people behind him; some police, some paramedics, and some other men like me. Just trying to help. I can’t hear what they’re saying but I see the pleading looks on their faces.

The man, still with his chin resting on his chest, began to shake his head. What could have possibly gone wrong that this man saw this as the only way out? Did he just drop a big deal at work? Did he lose his job? Maybe he got some bad news from his family? What would cause me to do something so drastic?

I’m looking at him asking all these questions when suddenly I see him let go, chin still on his chest. I hear a scream come from him, a scream from help. It echoes through my ears as I hear him hit the black water. He could have hit concrete and the sound would have been just the same, as if a flat palm hit a stone. And he was gone.

“Hi, it’s Adele is James home?”

“Hey baby, Nora left a few hours ago, I’m getting ready now. I’ve missed you! Sorry that I haven’t been able to escape these past few nights.”

“No it’s understandable, does she have any suspicion?”

“Not at all, she drop the kid’s at her mother’s house and went to go visit her sister, I told you what happened didn’t I?”

“No, what’s going on?”

“He sister got in a car accident last week, she has been in a coma and is pretty banged up. These past few days Nora has been by her side. The doctor said she might pull out of it tonight so she decided to stay later. The house had been a real mess.”

“That’s really unfortunate, have you been with her?”

“Yes and no… I just got home from the hospital and it will be really nice to finally get out of this dreary place. I miss you Adele.”

“I miss you too baby, when will you be here?”

“Give me twenty minutes, I just need to get dressed and do a few things then I’ll be right over”

The man puts the phone gently back on the hook and looks around the crowded living room. Toys action figures of Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are strewn all over the floor and the plasma TV was left on Nickelodeon muted where SpongeBob is mouthing something to Patrick. He walks over to the side of the TV and hits the power button. He shakes his head and he takes an overview of the room. Old dished from last Wednesday were left on the end tables still caked in food. Crusted over pasta sauce remains in them. He picks up the old dishes and walked down the hall and into the kitchen where the dishes from the past week are piled high in the sink. Nora told him that she would get to them today! What happened to her? Annoyed by the mess of the house, he tosses the dished to the top of the pile and walks away, leaving a miniature Leaning Tower of Pisa in his wake. He starts walking up the spiral staircase when he hears the front door creak open.

“Jack?”

“Nora? I thought you were going to be at the hospital all night?”

“Jack, she’s gone…just like that.”

“Nora? What do you mean? What happened?”

“She had slow internal bleeding that the doctors didn’t pick up.”

Jack sees his wife collapse on the black and white tile floor, sobbing. A look of confusion and impatience washes over his face as he pats her back.

“I’m so sorry Nora. At least she’s not in pain anymore.”

“I’m just going to miss her so much, baby, so much.”

Jack takes his hand off his wife’s back and looks at the time of his cell phone. Stressed, he tries to look for an escape.

“Nora I’m going to pick up some dinner and then I’ll snag the kids. I love you.”

“Jack please don’t leave me here alone!”

“Nora I’m hungry, I have to eat.”

Jack walks up the spiral staircase, leaving his wife alone whimpering on the tile floor.

I remember before he joined the army he used to have long enough hair where I could run my fingers through it as he weaved in and out of traffic. His hair was so soft, almost like a newborn baby’s but obviously thicker. When we would drive on roads where there were trees covering the road I remember how the light would play tricks on his hair. In the shadows it would be a mahogany brown but then there would be a patch were no leaves were blocking the sky and his hair would be a rusting gold. It was beautiful. Then the leaves would cover it in a split second and it would be back to the mahogany brown color.

I remember being forced to listen to what I used to think was terrible music, which over the years I grew to love. He loved to switch between rock to underground acoustic shit that I did not even know existed. He would drum his two pointer fingers on the steering wheel when we would hit a light, matching the beat of the drums in the song. He also would always mouth the lyrics very nonchalantly but NEVER sing. I remember one time I called him out on never singing. I started teasing him that maybe he had a terrible voice and that it would break the glass windshield. He proceeded to take the CD out of the player and throw it behind him into the street. We kept driving in silence. I never pried about why he never sang again.

During these summer car rides I remember driving to Wal-mart at least once a week for the deluxe bag of gummy bears. We would just drive around for hours on end chatting about the latest things in our lives or old stories that the other one had not heard, munching on gummy bears the whole time. My favorites were the red and orange ones so naturally I would leave him the rest. He used to bite the head off the bears first, and then proceed to pop the rest into his mouth, complaining the whole time that it wasn’t fair that I got the good ones. Then he would smile and stick his tongue out at me, which I would relay back to him.

I remember that at night, when he would drive me home, we would kiss at every red light we would stop at. He would just look at me and I would look at him and we would laugh and just start kissing. We were both children back then, what did we ever know of love?

-Enters me pressing the button to the 20^th floor, just as the doors were closing a hand pokes around the corner stopping the door from closing. In walks the girl who I just found out hooked up with my ex boyfriend. She is also one of my friends.

Me: (Trying not to make eye contact)

Her: Hey! Long time no talk! What happened to drinks the other night?

Me: I was busy.

Her: Oh really? What were you up to? Me and the girls missed you!

Me: I was at Chris’s.

Her: Oh good! Are you guys trying to figure things out?

Me: (Looks strait into her eyes) Yeah we were. (Looks away) And things were going really well.

Her: Yeah I really liked you guys together. I told him he really screwed that up.  He came over last we and we talked about it.

Me: Is that all you talked about?

Her: Yeah you know how he can be. Just really dismissive and stuff. He still really cares about you Nicole, you don’t understand. It hurts him so much to see you in pain and he just really wants to keep you in his life.

(Elevator jams and the girls are stuck between the 16 and 17^th floors)

Her: Shit this always happens here! Hey at least were getting to finally catch up!

Me: (under my breath) Joy.

Her: So yeah he was just really worried he would lose you as a friend and he just doesn’t want that.

Me: Want what?

Her: To lose you as a friend.

Me: Well that’s funny… we’ve been hooking up for a week now. He didn’t seem to want it to be just friends. (Looking her strait in the eyes) What is your definition of “Friends” when if comes to ex’s Becca?

Her: (not making eye contact and staring into the plated metal) You know… Like being cordial with each other. Still being in each other’s lives.

Me: Do you think that can happen for me Becca?

Her: I don’t see why it couldn’t.

Me: I see why I couldn’t.

Her: Why?

Me: How can you honestly be in this fucking elevator with me and act like everything is fine.

Her: What are you talking about?

Me: (looking directly at her) Oh… you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about.

Her: Nicole…

Me: How DARE you pretend we’re ok right now! How DARE you talk about our friendship like it means something to you? I forgave the shit you did to everyone else and I fucking stood up for you when you screwed over Jason but THIS is how I’m repaid? And the worst part…. Like I didn’t think it could get any worse… is the fact that neither one of you had the fucking balls to tell me. You both disgust me. If it was up to me I would’ve let the elevator door slam on your perfectly painted fucking fingernails.

(Jolt of the elevator, it’s moving again)

Her: Nicole I’m…

Me: Save it for someone who cares. I know where I stand with you and I sure as hell know where you stand with me.

Her: I was gonna tell…

(Elevator doors open, I walk)

-Scene-

Its not fair that I have such a forgiving soul and that I can’t help but to care about you. Sometimes I think it would be easier if you just evaporated into thin air, “GOODBYE BOY!” then at least I wouldn’t have to see you everywhere I go. Just as I remark to myself that there is no way in hell YOU would show up at this house or at this time there you are! I open up the fucking car door and I don’t even get to put both feet onto the pavement until I hear that oh so familiar “hi there!” and I immediately want to throw myself back in and drive away at 50 mph. I hate you for having that control over me but I know you love it.

You love that I can’t stop thinking about you. I specifically TOLD you not to talk to me ever again TWICE and you last a few days. You say you miss me and that you need to talk to me but just how much is missing verse control? I try to break this habit, I try to stop talking to you but its like asking a girl with OCD to stop turning the faucet on and off six times or tell a blind person if they just could see how beautiful that sunset is.

The truth is I shouldn’t even like you as much as I do. You don’t deserve the perfect life mommy and daddy gave to you. You don’t deserve the random lucky things that you have in your life. And you sure as hell don’t deserve me. One day I hope you are really tried and when that time comes, I won’t hold your hand anymore.

Her mother always knew.

Just a little more red,

To hide the blue.

The rings like a raccoon

Daddy said family problems will be kept from view.

But mother always knew.

The swollen eyes?

Some black will do…

Just a little more red!

To paint the smile

They will see

That she’s happy for a while.

She paints her canvas

Making alterations

Erases his “mistakes”

No one will notice the variations.

She is beautiful now!

Hair long and gold,

A beautiful smile

Teeth in a strait row.

Her eyes are bright

Outlined in black.

Her lips luscious

There is nothing she lacks.

Just a little red,

Hid the blue…

But not for long,

Just out of view.

My Father’s

Favorites will view, surrounded by

A legendary garden.

It was home

But behind the stain glass, of where I was a child, nothing is real.

I am His forgotten son.

We were the perfectly made family, beauty from

Our Father

Made us shine brighter then the stars.

I was the favorite at one point, envied.

My Father

Put me at the head of the table, I was told that one day

His Kingdom

Would be mine. But then things changed.

Perfection was His high standard, and I became one below.

My brothers started to surpass me in my fathers love.

I missed Him.

I missed Him telling me He loved me, I would be okay.

I needed to make Him proud but He refused to look at me.

I couldn’t compete and He knew that I was growing up differently, not as strong.

I tried. While for the others it was simple, effortless. And He saw me as pathetic.

There is always

That one child who is

The blackest of spots

On the whitest of carpets

I was making the family look bad in

Our Father’s

Eyes.

But Michael refused to give up on me. He believed. My model being.

I’m sorry that I failed you.

But he knows that

Our Father

Was cold. He didn’t understand why I couldn’t be

Perfect.

But then He made them, His greatest creation.

Their perfection was their flaws.

I worked my ass off to be the proper son; disappointment was not an option in my house.

Choice?

There was none.

Michael begged me to be a good son and not challenge his word. But I couldn’t.

I wanted to know why I was

Non-deserving of

His Love.

I wanted love.

Michael cried, “little brother please, I love you. He won’t ever forgive.” I knew

Our Father’s

Anger, rage would be my

Down

Fall

But I did what I did. At least I

Fell for something.

A dysfunctional family had no place in his haven, everything has to be

Perfect.

And she became theirs.

He comes back to her every night and smushes her soft brown face into his arms

Years come and go.

I call him Guppy after our first date where we watched the Little Mermaid

And he confess that he is scared of his own shadow,

And ghosts give him chills.

Now her fur is pressed to her body and he still sleeps with her every night. Out of habit.

She still remains with the smile sewn onto her face,

But

Her back is open now and fluff is protruding.

The heart has been taken out

By force.

The stitches have come undone

But she still has the same smile on her face.

At night he stumbles into the room and picks up the phone

He sees her that has no heart and his face turns sour.

The phone rings three times before he puts it down

And instead walks heavily to the fridge where the chilled beer calls to him

Only to notice they’re all gone.

She is left press into the corner, pillows thrown onto of her

Still smiling,

Still heartless.

Yet sometimes at night, when he thinks no one is looking

He holds her and presses her matted fur to his chest.

As I sit on the bed I look at her open back and her undying smile

And wonder how long she’ll be around.